| | I hate being sick. I hate missing work more. And I hate feeling trapped at home playing survivor with whatever has entered my system. So instead of sitting around thinking about everything I should be doing right now but can't, I am going to sit around and do what I never get to. Journey with me, if you will, on a magical adventure called dealing with boredom.
1. I get to update my blog.
I am not a good blogger. Obviously. I can go for months without even thinking about this. It's not that I don't have anything to say, it just means I have to sit in front of a computer for longer. This can be very one-sided. At least Facebook gives some sense of interaction.
2. I finish books.
Books are fun. Finishing them takes commitment. It is too easy to start one, then get so excited by another one that the first gets dropped so the other one can be read. But then yet another scintillating literary piece comes along, and the latter follows the former. It is a vicious cycle. So, being trapped forces me to confront these half-read works. Today, I finished this one:
 Yes, today I claim accomplishment. This book was extremely insightful along with some strong academia behind his statements. I got lost a few times in his biological descriptions behind addiction, but feel he nailed a number of the myriad of reasons why individuals continue to abuse substances. Just wait til I get back to work! But now, I am onto finishing this book: I am learning alot about the CIA. And about backroom politics. And why it helps to have friends who are world leaders. I didn't see the movie, and am not sure I want to anymore. I really don't believe all of this fit into a feature film, to be quite honest.
I am eager to move on though...I still have these lined up:
  
3. I pretend I'm a doctor.
Google is great. I don't know what people did before it. Seriously. I do not like going to my own doctor, because that somehow makes my illness real. I'd much rather sit here, typing in all my symptoms and finding that I have tuberculosis and HIV.
Okay, but then I do read further, and find I just have a flu. I refuse to get flu shots, so I know everyone who is familiar with my slight opinions on this subject is going to try to use this as evidence for me to partake in this nonsensical ritual from now on. Not so, people. I have now had the flu one (1) time in my conscious life, out of at least 17 years of being flu-free. Pretty good odds, wouldn't you say?
And on that note, since I don't have a cold, I still hold that my regimen works. I usually am the person who contracts every virus that floats around, and will get three or four viruses every winter. The last time I was sick was September, when I started myself on my own little immunity system. It works. Trust me.
You take this:
So once your system is ODed on Vitamin C, you take these every four hours:
I don't know what's in them, but it works. Believe it.
4. I learn what my cat does all day
This is very important. I've strongly believed my cat has somehow been cooking crack while I'm at work, but it turns out no. He's just like that, though I suspect it might have something to do with a lack of oxygen getting to his brain. Let me show you:
He has no face. I ask him all the time where it went, and he just doesn't know. It's really great when you are trying to sleep and he has to sniff your face...which entails putting the whole front of his head on yours because his nose is pushed back so far. But this doesn't faze him at all, and never forgets to remind me it is me who is living in his space. For example, water glasses that have carelessly been left within his reach are clearly vessels for him to wash his paws in. Any cries of protest warrant a glare of disdain while the swishing continues.
I'm getting a dog next time.
5. I can figure out the Nickelback conspiracy
They are the reason for everything wrong with the world. And for giving me the flu. If on the off chance I am ever awarded a Juno for my melodica album, I would probably throw it away JUST BECAUSE Nickelback somehow rigged the whole system to get themselves 4, thereby officially reducing the merit behind the award. 4 Junos. How on God's green earth did THAT happen? Really Canada? Nickelback is who we are proud of? The band who actually opened the show with a song featuring the lyrics "you'd look cuter with something in your mouth" ?
I'm dying.
6. I can finally watch This is Wonderland!
When I first moved to Vancouver, one of my roommates and I devoted every Friday night to CBC. Laugh if you must, but starting at 7 every Friday we would be ready with our Bailey's on the rocks in hand for This Hour Has 22 Minutes back when Rick Mercer was still on it, then The Sean Cullen Show, The Newsroom, and finally, This is Wonderland. What are these shows, you might ask. Well CBC in its infinite brilliance continues to cancel all their good programming to replace it with drivel, to say the least.
Regardless, This is Wonderland was the highlight of the night for me. It was a Canadian Law & Order complete with very Canadian humour, and without all the nonsense of who the main characters are outside of work. It was brilliant.
One Christmas, my mother gave me the first season, and I had yet to watch it. Today is a different day, however.
7. I can clean
But I'm not going to.
8. I can read policy
And I probably will. Just because I'm not AT work doesn't mean I can't work, right?
And with that, I'm off to take a nap. I will not be caught having to take two sick days in a row. Not this one.
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| | Posted 3/30/2009 5:04 PM - 1 View - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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